It's happening again. I cant stop shaking. maybe its because of overworking or i dont know maybe relapse. i cant breathe i don't even know what triggered it but i do know i have a lot of unshed tears waiting to drop I cant stop them but i cant usher them either my face has a thousand needles pricking at it. my head feels numb my throat feels lodged my hands are screaming at me to stop but they refuse to listen to me. im sad again. the sadness is making me nauseous maybe beacause i dissapointed someone again because of my crippling anxiety, my body hurts, my mind hurts, my heart hurts my throat hurts. everything is in pain right now. My eyes fill up with tears but they refuse to fall holding me captive in their prison, trying to drown me i cant breathe despite all this polluted air.
I'm so tired... I know I always say that. But if I'm being honest, I don't know any other sentence or combination of words to express those feelings I'm always feeling. I had a good cry today, but it's left me feeling drained, and yet I wasn't able to let all of my tears out, so now I feel like crying, but I'm too exhausted to. Yesterday I went over to my friend's place, and I wanted to tell her about my shit, but she was too bright and chipper. I didn't want to ruin her mood, so I didn't. Now I'm sitting here regretting not letting it all out because I feel my metaphorical bottle overflowing slowly.
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