I was happy, for a few hours. Then it was as if my heart remembered that I wasnt allowed to be and now it is heavy and i dont even know why maybe im just tired i want a good cry im tired of feeling numb and just so so tired like exhausted even though i didnt get much excercise im just so tired of feeling heavy and sinking in my thoughts whats worse is i dont even know why i am sad at this point do i really need a reason to be or...i just donno. i want to talk to someone and yet i dont think i can tell anyone im close to. I know i have someone in my mind specifically as to who i really really want to talk to, my long distance best friend but now i dont even know if she still considers me her best friend and what hurts is that I still do and i think i consider her my only friend my only comfort even though i have other friends too not many but a few but none that i want to talk to about...this. I dont even know what 'this' is. I miss you, S.

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